


Screaming 'Why' At The Top Of My Lungs, But You Still Don't Hear Me

by punkrockpotato



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, M/M, petekey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5507909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockpotato/pseuds/punkrockpotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Petekey short. Very angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screaming 'Why' At The Top Of My Lungs, But You Still Don't Hear Me

Pete wants to scream 'why' at the top of his lungs, or maybe Patrick's lungs. He wants a whole song just to be the word 'why' screamed until there's nothing left. That's how he feels.

Sometimes, when he's alone in the booth, he'll scream, and scream, and scream, until there's no air left and he's curled inwards towards himself. 

The questions spin around his head, it's hard to not right lyrics about him. 'Why did you leave?', 'If you loved me, why'd you leave me?', 'Why didn't you try harder?', 'Why are you being such a dick?'. 

He knows the answers. He's just missing a part of him. He's missing Mikey. He left because he had to, there was no way they could stay together, fate was against them. Mikey ~~loves~~...loved him. It just wasn't enough. The world pulled them apart. Mikey didn't know how to try harder, and neither did Pete. They're both assholes to each other because they're hurt, they're pretending everything is okay, that everything is fine, when they're breaking apart. 

"You can't just scream 'why' in the middle of this song" Patrick insists, not necessarily enjoying having to be the bad guy here. He knows Pete will flip. 

"I don't see why not" Pete's got a sweaty, stressed look on his face. He knows he can't do it either, but he's going to try anyways. Maybe if he screams loud enough, Mikey will hear from across the country. It hasn't worked yet. 

"You know why Pete" Patrick sighs, immediately realising his mistake when Pete kicks angrily into the air, with no direction, knocking down a mic stand and scattering papers across the floor as the music stand takes a plummet.

"No, I don't, Patrick." Pete's yelling, Joe and Andy are just watching, knowing that it's impossible to stop a tornado, they just have to let it play out. "If I knew why, I wouldn't have to ask"

"You do know why" Patrick has had this conversation more than once. He knows Pete's not pissed at him, he's pissed at himself mostly. "It was 2005, they were going to Europe. You are both in famous, world wide, bands."

"He didn't try" Pete yells, knocking some more stuff down, metal clattering to the ground. "We could've tried"

Patrick shifts his gaze over to the other two guys, who look back at him blankly. When he looks back, Pete has tears running down his face at waterfall speeds. He has to run his course. Let it out, wait for tomorrow.

After a good five minutes, Pete ends up sitting on the floor, knees tucked up to his chest, staring blankly at the wall emotionless. Even when he says,"I know why he left,  I don't know why I feel like this" he says it monotone. 

An empty feeling, like Mikey took something with him. Just took a giant piece of Pete, similar to as if he just left with Pete's arms and legs. The thing is, Pete doesn't know how to describe this feeling. There's a deep pit inside his brain, and someone's at the bottom of it. He's confused. He's confused as to why he's confused. 

The little person, in the pit, makes his head fuzzy, it asks him things that he doesn't know. Sometimes, it asks questions _that aren't even real_. Like it sends a wave of confusion, but without a real thing to be confused about. 

It's an awful feeling, an indescribable feeling. You may never understand, and if you do, I'm sorry your heart is broken. 


End file.
